Celebrity Sunglasses on Youtube

One thing about celebrities is that they never seem to leave home without their trusty pair of designer sunglasses. Whether they’re in a dark wine bar or out on the street at night it doesn’t seem to make a difference. They’re inseperable companions, like flies on elephants. Actually, given the recent antics of Britney, Paris and Nicole, these days celebrities wear sunglasses more often than knickers.

Want to understand why? By delving into the complex and bewildering psyche of the celebrity mind, we try to answer this age-old riddle:

1. So they don’t get recognised. Celebrities can’t risk getting mobbed by crazed fans on every street corner now can they? It’s a scientific fact that human face recognition predominantly focuses on the eyes. Obviously those celebrities who wear sunglasses everywhere have researched this fact and acted accordingly. And you thought they were all smiles and no brain cells!
2. So they do get recognised. There are certain species of celebrity that actually desire attention of passers-by on the street, and use their designer sunglasses to achieve this. Some resort to wearing the most ridiculous attention seeking bug-eyed goggles. Others have actually based their image around their glasses. This latter syndrome is known as the Bono factor, named after the men’s glasses icon and aging U2 frontman for his trademark luminous wrap-arounds.
3. As a defence against camera flashes. With the celebrity’s natural predator, the paparazus (or paparazzi in plural) on the prowl, certain defensive measures have to be taken. The bigger the celebrity, the more of these deadly adversaries will congregate around them. One of their chief weapons is their enormous flashing bulbs, used to temporarily blind their prey and gradually weaken their already damaged eyeballs (see point 5). Sunglasses are in fact a crucial evolutionary defence against this threat.
4. To cover up the state of their eyes. You may not have thought it, but this is in actual fact a measure to protect us, the general public. If we were exposed to the true state that celebrity eyes end up in after all night binges and long term sun damage, we’d be so horrified that our entire view of the world would crumble around us. Yes, ladies’ glasses of the rich and famous are there for our sake. Yep, it’s the truth folks.
5. Drugs make the sunlight hurt. Now these guys have a tremendous weight on their shoulders, being role models for the rest of us, and this understandibly takes its toll and results in massive levels of drug abuse. Chemicals like tetra-hydro-canabinol (found in marijuana) and the opiate compounds in heroin, create significant dilation of your pupils. This means normal daylight or even a streetlamp, harmless to you and eye, are very painful for celebrities. Have a heart and let them wear their shades.

I hope now I’ve made you think twice before tutting under your breath next time you see a hollywood star sporting ridiculously unneccesary shades in pitch black conditions.